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Excuse me for being so dramatic. For the first time in years, not even a Friday night was able to cheer me up.
Been down in the pits for a week and I can’t seem to get out of it. Life and I hadn’t been seeing eye to eye. I so badly want to tell it to just GIVE ME A BREAK! The emotional rollercoaster is still running at full speed. It’s sickening me already. Puuhhhleeezz. Enough already!
There. Venting over for now. I turn my attention to a meme from Grace in the hopes that this can momentarily get me over the blues…
Two Names You Go By:
1. Susette
2. Setsu
Two Things You Are Wearing Right Now:
1. Maroon shirt
2. Jogging pants
Two Of Your Favorite Things:
1. Music
2. Books (and travel, and movies, and bubble baths…)
Two Things You Want Very Badly At The Moment:
1. Escape to someplace far, far, far away
2. An Iphone
Two Favorite Pets You Have Or Had:
1. Lovebirds
2. No more (My folks never let us have animals in the house because of childhood asthma)
Two People You Hope Will Fill This Out:
1. Lucelle
2. Florence
Two Things You Did Last Night:
1. Watched a movie
2. Boohoo session
Two Things You Ate Last Night:
1. Stir-fried veggies
2. Muffins
Two People You Last Talked To:
1. Mom & Dad
2. Julius
Two Things You Are Doing Tomorrow:
1. Cook
2. Go to a friend’s birthday party
Two of Farthest Trips Taken In The Last 5 Years:
1. Philippines
2. Australia
Two Favorite Holidays:
1. Christmas
2. Golden Week
Two Favorite Beverages:
1. Milk tea
2. Apple juice
Idle hands are the devil’s playthings. Somebody should advise the devil not to get people frustrated so he can have a shot at their souls.
Woke up last Saturday morning in the mood for a bit of housecleaning. Typical Susette. Get her exasperated over something and she’ll cope by jumping headfirst into a frenzy of activities. It’s a habit borne and enforced by years of childhood scenes like this:
Little Me: Mom, may I have some ice cream?
Mom (a.k.a Big Boss): Go clean up your room. It’s too messy.
Little Me: ??? (Confused. What does ice cream have to do with cleaning up?)
Mom (a.k.a Big Boss): And while you’re at it, you might as well clean up your closet too. It’s a jungle. I won’t be surprised if you find a snake living in there.
Little Me: ?!?!?! (Scratches her head. Walks away confounded and defeated)
And so she poured all her ice cream frustrations into making the room immaculate and clearing the jungle closet. As an added bonus, she changed the bed sheets, threw away unnecessary items and modified the layout of the room. As she went into the kitchen for a glass of water, she found a huge serving of chocolate ice cream waiting on the counter. A few cream-filled minutes later, came the voice…
Mom (a.k.a Big Boss): It’s time to do your homework now. You can’t watch TV if you don’t finish it by dinner.
And so the cycle continues…
Moral lesson for parents: If you want to get your child to obey you, couple it positive reinforcement. Works all the time.
Lesson learned by the child (at least what I learned…): If you don’t get what you want out of life, get busy and maybe something good will come of it. You might even get a reward if it’s your lucky day.
God. I’m the perfect Pavlov dog.
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With last Saturday’s action unfolded a long ignored dilemma. As always, it started with an internal deliberation…
Master-Plan: I can’t explain it, but I have a distinct feeling that something’s not right.
Cold-Facts: (sigh) You honestly don’t know? Well my dear, in case you haven’t noticed it, we have too much stuff.
Master-Plan: (looking around. incredulous) Really???
Cold-Facts: Yup. We have waaaay too much stuff. A couple more and we’ll be sleeping outside the apartment.
Close to seven years in this country got me too comfortable with accumulating stuff. Though I’m hardly ever in my apartment, it’s nice to think that should I opt to remain inside, I’ll be alright because I have all that I need and want. Let alone the fact that Japan’s consumerist lifestyle makes it so easy to buy stuff (i.e. online shopping, TV shopping, Nissen catalogs, brochures given away in the office).
With eyes roaming all over the place, my efforts yielded this list in just a few minutes:
1. Too many books. Almost all of them already read, but 23 or so still in the waiting list.
- Cannot dispose. They’re a personal collection. The 23 unread books are backup material so I can proceed to the next one right after I’m done with what I’m currently reading.
2. Several unopened boxes of perfume
- Cannot dispose. They’re gifts for mom & friends. Tried saving money by buying presents off-season
3. Playstation 2 + Playstation 3
- Cannot dispose. My PS3 cannot play PS2 games with US region since I bought it in Japan.
4. One desktop PC. One laptop.
- Cannot dispose. The desktop PC is for secure online transactions. The laptop is for unsafe transactions (i.e. downloading, online gaming). Plus, laptop is portable. Need it to work on things when I’m not at home.
5. Two digital cameras.
- Cannot dispose. One is already outdated, but tiny. The other one takes high quality pictures but is bulky. I use both depending on my bag’s available space.
6. Two printers
- Cannot dispose. Older one has cheaper ink. The other prints faster and better, but uses more expensive ink. Use both depending on the type of material to print.
7. VHS player.
- Cannot dispose because nobody wants it
8. Three alarm clocks, two wall clocks
- Cannot dispose. I’m a stickler for punctuality. I keep one alarm clock by my bedside. The other on top of the TV. Third one’s in the shower. The first wall clock is in the kitchen. The other is in the toilet.
9. Stuff toys
- Cannot dispose. They’re the only ones keeping me warm now.
10. Oven toaster (I already have a microwave oven)
- Cannot dispose because nobody wants to give it a home
11. Two irons
- Again no takers. Anybody wants to give an old but still working iron a home?
12. Over-abundance of bed sheets
- Cannot dispose. I like all of them. I change my sheets often to sleep better.
This is just the tip of the iceberg. Further stock taking plus a quick peek at the storage closet outside my apartment would cause this list to grow even longer. Tried to consult my decision-making committee and all I got was this…
Master-Plan: … (out of ideas)
Cold-Facts: … (also out of ideas)
Primate: … (no idea. just getting hungrier by the minute)
Finally, after a long period of silence, a serious pronouncement…
Master-Plan: We definitely have a problem.
Yes. I definitely have a problem. I collect white elephants. Need help.
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*** Note: Makemydayfriday is not cracking up. “Dissociated Identity Dialogues” is just a way of putting her thought processes into words. On second thought, maybe she really is crazy. Who the hell thinks like this, anyway?
*** Another note: Who needs clothes hangers??? I have too many of them!
*** This blog is brought to you by the following personalities:
Master-Plan : the Planner
Cold-Facts : the Analyst
Primate : Primitive Instincts
One day, long before many gods were born, I woke from a deep sleep and found all my masks were stolen — the seven masks I have fashioned and worn in seven lives…
— Kahlil Gibran (The Madman)
*** [The Personalities] ***
Master-Plan – Arbiter and Unifier
Cold-Facts – the Consummate Analyst
Primate – Primitive Instincts
Emo – the Hopeless Romantic
War-Freak – the Fighter
Evil-Grin – Humor, Sarcasm and Mischief
Gray-skies – the Lonely Recluse
* Where: Inner sanctum
* When: Roughly eight years ago
Confused personalities entering the room. “What is this all about?”, they ask one another. Master-Plan sits at the presiding table and calls them to order.
Primate: (stomach growling) How long is this going to last? I’m hungry…
Cold-Facts: (grumpily) This is an exercise in futility. Could we start right away and finish early? I still have stuff to do.
Master-Plan: Dear friends, we gather here today to talk and come up with a plan…
War-Freak: Plan? Who is it and what did the fellow do to us this time? Tell me and I’ll give that slimy creature a piece of my mind. This is war!!!
Primate: (eagerly rubbing hands together) Or we could just hit him with a club. Nyahaha! I haven’t done that in ages!
Evil-Grin: It’s because the last time your kind did that, dinosaurs were still strolling around, having picnics.
Primate: What can I say? This generation has grown too soft for my taste. By the way, your record is not exactly that spectacular either. Remember when you and your brother stuck pins into the Jollibee mascot at your cousin’s birthday party?
Evil-Grin: (grinning evilly) All in the name of scientific exploration, baby. We were trying to prove to my cousin that the Jollibee mascot is human — thereby capable of feeling pain — and not a robot. Besides, it’s not our fault that he bore an uncanny resemblance to a giant pincushion. He had it coming.
Cold-Facts: All I can say is, if we’re going to war then we need more information.
Gray-skies: Oh dear… I do hate going to war. It depresses me.
Emo: Count me out. I’m a lover, not a fighter.
War-Freak: (rolling eyes) You come up with the grossest lines sometimes, you know that?
Master-Plan: (banging the table with a hammer) If everybody would just listen to me please? It’s not war that we’re talking about. I wish to call everyone’s attention to the storm that has recently wrecked havoc in our town.
Cold-Facts: Ah yes… the frightful personal storm…
Primate: … that put me into diet mode for so long…
Emo: … and ran me over with a bulldozer…
War-Freak: … and had me literally seeing red…
Evil-Grin: … and choked me for days.
Gray-skies: It’s too depressing. Can we forget about it?
Master-Plan: (firmly) No. We have to do this. If we don’t, I’m not sure what will happen the next time another one strikes. It took a lot of effort for me to keep you all together.
Cold-Facts: What do you suggest we do then?
Master-Plan: I propose the establishment of an emergency procedure, call it a defense mechanism if you prefer. By putting together our collective strengths, we better our chances of weathering similar storms.
Cold-Facts: Let me get this straight… you want me to go into hyper-analytical mode in times of distress?
Master-Plan: If by that you mean somebody with a clear head, then the answer is yes.
Emo: I can keep my emotions in check…
Primate: … make sure that the physical state is not neglected…
War-Freak: … hold the fort and defend it if needed…
Evil-Grin: … preserve our sanity…
Gray-skies: … mourn appropriately…
Master-Plan: … while I keep a dignified and united front. I gather we have an agreement then?
Everyone nodded and went away secure in the soundness of the plan. Eight years later, however…
Master-Plan: (sigh) I thought I was good at quick decisions and fast recoveries. Maybe I already lost my touch. We all did the right thing, didn’t we?
Gray-skies: Yes. Definitely. It was not easy to let go of something we all treasured for years. But we did give it enough chances and careful thought. In the end, there’s no better choice but to walk away.
Master-Plan: How is everybody holding up?
Gray-skies: Quite marvelously, considering the circumstances. Cold-Facts temporarily took over your job. Emo wanted to go on a grand spending spree, so Cold-Facts hid your credit card. She’s now keeping herself content with trips to the 100 Yen Shop. Primate hit War-Freak with a club to keep her from running amok. Both are now blissfully snoring away.
Master-Plan: And you?
Gray-skies: My rainy days are practically over. Expect some drizzles every now and then, but the flood control systems are intact. By the way, Evil-Grin asked me to tell you that the skies are already clear.
Master-Plan: Clear skies?
Gray-skies: Uhuh. Enough light for her to start gathering every tiny bit of joy she can get her hands on.
Master-Plan: So I guess I have to come out of the cave now…
Gray-skies: Yup. And time for me to go inside and rest. My work here is done.
Master-Plan: And so it is…
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